Hope you're doing well!!! And if you're in a region that experienced heat waves this summer, I hope it's cooling off for you soon!
Before we get into this month's essay, I just wanted to tell you that we will be restocking over the weekend! I'm currently inspecting and washing everything up and I hope to put them back in stock on Saturday night, Sunday at the very latest.
Chicken with a Side of Eggs & Integrity, Please. And Yes, I'll Take It On A Biscuit. Thank you.
Last week, my friend and I went to brunch and she asked me what I valued most in a man. Over fried chicken, biscuits, and eggs, I gave her my answer: integrity. And it’s a trait I value most in all people.
Integrity is such a fabulous concept because it encompasses so many positive traits: honesty, wholeness, moral consistency, trustworthiness. People with integrity have a deep love for themselves and a deep love for others. They act in alignment with their highest selves, even if the consequences are uncomfortable.
Sometimes people struggle with integrity because they don’t have a clear sense of right and wrong.
Depending on how we were raised, right can mean doing what others want us to do, even if it’s out of alignment with our well-being; and wrong can mean disappointing others.
On the flip side, some of us were raised to believe that right means getting our way at all costs, even if it means devaluing others; and wrong can mean anything that’s not in congruence with what we want.
When out of integrity, we can act as either the powerless child or the domineering parent. Integrity liberates us from these harmful roles and plants us in true autonomy. A sign of maturity and self-reflection, integrity leads to long term peace and inner joy.
"Whatever you do in the dark will come to light." - ancient proverb
Integrity starts with truth. It’s honoring our well-being so we can honor the choices of others - even if those choices disappoint us. It’s recognizing that while we can control our actions, we do not have the right to control the actions and reactions of others.
Integrity is recognizing that we are neither the powerless child, nor the domineering parent. Ignoring our own well-being is a sign of immaturity as is controlling and punishing other adults. Integrity asks us to reflect on this self-sabotage, asking:
What was the fear or hurt driving our action? In what ways can this action sabotage our present and future selves both emotionally and socially? How can we act with more integrity next time? How can we make amends to ourselves and/or another?
Honest reflection isn’t always easy work. A lot of times, we will do anything to avoid it - including scrolling on social media, watching Netflix, using drugs, having sex, mindless eating, hanging out with people, avoiding people, nonstop working, etc. May we come to see integrity as the good girlfriend she truly is. In befriending her, may we enjoy our chicken (or vegan substitute) in peace.
Thank you for shining your bright light, Kurlies. May you never apologize for your boundaries and may the rest of your August be filled with miracles and joy.
I appreciate you and I love you.
Your Sister in Beauty,
✨ Lana ✨