Life Design Journey p 3: Dating Destiny
How do you feel right now? What if I told you this very feeling is contributing to your destiny. You see, our feelings are connected to our thoughts and our thoughts impact our destiny. How? Think of thoughts as internal stories we tell about ourselves and our environment. Whatever story you tell about yourself, you live.
How do you create a better destiny for yourself? Soak in more of the good and accept where you are on your journey. Here’s how:
1 - Create more productive stories about who you are.
What type of person is your higher-self? Are you organized, motivated, creative, loving, compassionate, healthy? Right now, I want you to pause. Feel what it would be like to live as your higher-self. It should feel pleasant and warm and right. Every day, do at least one thing that brings you closer to this best self. Even if it’s something small, like choosing water instead of soda at a restaurant.
Next, feel how amazing it’s going to be to get there. And know you are on the path to becoming this being with each breath you take. Sometimes we make mistakes, and that’s ok. Stop comparing yourself and love yourself through the journey. You will get there. Believe it by feeling it. Celebrate every tiny step towards progress every day.
2 - Recognize negative storytelling.
Is there a negative reoccurring theme in your life? Does it secretly bring you joy or comfort? Drama brings some people joy just as victimhood brings others comfort. Just know you attract whatever you’re attracted to. So if you’re attracted to drama, you’re going to experience drama in your life. If you’re attracted to victimhood, you’re going to experience victimhood cyclically in your life.
For example: If you make a mistake at work, recognize that you are not your mistake. Your being is not your action. Therefore, there’s no need for a pity party. You’re too much of a natural boss. Instead, recognize your mistake and figure out ways to improve. Look at the mistake as a lesson you needed to learn to take you to the next step. Just be sure to actually learn it.
And if someone does something nasty to you, know this: your are not that person’s action. No one can strip you from your higher-self. You are one in the same. So as difficult as it might seem, learn something productive from the experience. Feel compassion towards others who have survived similar nastiness. Help another who has gone through similar things. Yes, what happened was unfair. But the sooner you can find the strength to shine a light in a dark situation, the faster you can heal.
TLDR: Break these detrimental cycles by engaging in productive stories about yourself. Just ensure your actions align with these better stories.
3 - Sit with your blessings.
As humans, we have evolved with a negativity bias. This means we tend to dwell on bad experiences more than we do on good ones. This has been great for our evolution as a species because it kept us alive from predators. However, in modern times, it can do more harm than good. This sounds so cliche, but recognize all the good in your life in a given moment. Appreciate it with a grateful and happy heart for at least 30 seconds. Sit in it and count to 30 if you have to! Engaging in this type of mindfulness improves our lives by recognizing all the good that often goes overlooked.
So I hope you enjoy this third installment of the Life Design series. I get really personal with this one, and I’ll admit, I even thought about cutting a certain part out. However, if it keeps one person from going down a dangerous path (like I almost did), then I’ll consider my confession totally worth it.
So I honestly hope it helps. Let me know if it does in the comments.